Watch out for mental stumbling blocks

Looking for a new job is difficult at best. Many people handicap themselves, either consciously or unconsciously, by falling victim to counterproductive behavior in the job search. When these self-erected barriers get in the way, the job search is even harder.

There are three psychological barriers to beware of during your job search:
• Ego • Rejection • Uncertainty

All of these blocks will crop up during one of the natural “downs” of your job search. By knowing about them in advance, you can mentally prepare yourself to avoid them or develop strategies to overcome them.

Your ego can get in your way, but you cannot afford to let it do so. Even though today’s job market demands experienced older workers, the employer still holds all the cards and does so until you get an offer.

That fact can be hard to accept. Especially when you are new to the search, you may think, “I know how good I am and what I can do. I know my record from previous employers and no one is going to take that away from me. Why should I take a backseat to anything or anybody?” This feeling can be especially strong when you have been discharged. Getting fired hurts. It is easy to overcompensate for that hurt by overestimating your marketability.

When you let your ego get the better of you, you risk making several disastrous mistakes. You may play “hard to get” in interviews and convey the impression that the company needs to convince you to join its work force. Or you may indulge in excessive braggadocio in the interview, or monopolize the conversation.

It takes confidence to get a job. You need to talk up your accomplishments in an interview. There is a fine line, however, between self-confidence and bombast. When your ego gets in the way, the line blurs and becomes easy to cross.

The trail to a new job is filled with rejection. All interviews end in failure except the final one, when you are reemployed. It is important to learn not to take rejection personally. A common phrase you will hear on your job hunt is, “You just do not fit in here.” Even worse is to hear nothing. Fine. If you do not fit in the company, you would not want to work there anyway.

It is easy to let repeated rejection make you feel inadequate. You feel there must be something wrong with you, or you would not be rejected so often. It isn’t you! Rejection is the norm.

Feelings of inadequacy are a danger signal that requires immediate attention. If you allow such feelings to build, you will hamper the effectiveness of your job search. You need an immediate infusion of self-confidence. Keep telling yourself that you will get a new job as good or better than the one you had before because that is the way it works out. When you feel inadequate, realize where those feelings are coming from and you will overcome them.

Also, keep in mind that a certain amount of rejection is required for success. Legendary baseball players who bat .400 strike out six times out of every ten. Salespeople who can close three sales out of ten experience rejection seven times. Before you find the job you want, you will be rejected. Just keep in mind that, although it stings, rejection takes you closer to your goal of employment.

It is hard not knowing when you will get a new job. Uncertainty can produce nagging feelings of insecurity and indecisiveness about how to proceed. If you allow uncertainty to take over, your progress in the job search will be frozen. You may become afraid to try alternatives because you are not sure they will work out; you may become so afraid that eventually you do nothing. Doing nothing is dangerous! You need to keep moving in your job search. Lose momentum, and you impede you chances of finding a new job — it is even more difficult to start up again after stopping.

All three of these blocks can be alleviated by talking with a trusted friend of confidante. Find someone outside your family circle with whom you can communicate easily. Ask if you may use him or her as your outlet for anger and frustration.

Friends can provide needed emotional support, but keep their advice in perspective. Everybody has an opinion on how to write a resume or conduct an interview. Rely on your friends for support, but rely on yourself when it comes to preparing for your job search. The best strategies are the result of trial and error. As you schedule and go on interviews with prospective employers, you learn what works and what does not. Adjust your job strategies accordingly.

James E. Challenger